who tops?
by lunanigh282
Summary: the nations have a bet to find out who tops in England and Americas relationship. Everyones eager to find out the truth and see if they are right but how will they all react when they do find out the truth. rated for implied 'things' and for strong language.


Okay this story was a request from my awesome sister who has this huge obsession with ukus. She and I got into a huge argument over who really tops England or America. so one thing lead to another and this story was born.

disclaimer~i do not own hetalia

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" ohonhon it seems to me that Angleterre and Amerique are always going at each other. The two are always fighting about such simple things."

France was sitting at the meeting room table speaking to himself and the nations around him. The nations next to him happen to be Spain and Hungary. Hungary turned to look at France. she then looked over at the two nations who were fighting across the room. Spain laughed at his friends comment knowing that it was completely truthful in all.

" Si they always are but their fights don't last very long. The fights always die down when England gets all upset and America says hes sorry. Then the two hug and kiss which means that its all over."

France and Hungary nodded their heads agreeing with what Spain had said.

" Yeah that is what happens but you forgot one of the most important details. After the fighting Amerique takes Angleterre back to their hotel room and the two have wild make up sex. which obviously involves Amerique topping Angleterre."

Hungary almost had a nosebleed imaging Frances statement happening. She, being a hardcore yaoi fan girl, enjoyed the thought greatly. Spain on the other hand didn't seem so happy. He was frowning which was a very strange thing.

" Why do you think America tops England how do you know its not the other way around."

France and Hungary stared at Spain stunned. The two nations began to laugh. Spain remained quiet with a frown on his face.

" What so funny I'm being serious."

Hungary and France continued to laugh but soon stopped when they looked to see that sure enough Spain was being serious. Hungary frowned at the nation while France continued to smile.

"Ohonhon its obvious that Angleterre is on bottom. He is so small and his body is like that of a woman's."

Before Spain could say anything against what France had said Hungary spoke up.

" Also not only is England small like a girl he had the attitude and hobbies of one. He likes to cook and sew for god sakes even I don't do that girly stuff and I am a girl. Oh and personally I can't see the 'hero' being topped by the gentleman. It just doesn't work out like that. So there's no way England tops."

Spain opened his mouth to protest but before any words could come out he was once again interrupted. This time though by a completely different nation who decided to join in on the conversation. The said nation was no other than Denmark.

" Whos on top of what?"

France turned to the Nordic nation and laughed.

" Our silly friend Spain here believes that England tops America."

Denmark was quiet for a moment before he busted up laughing. He fell to the floor and rolled around on it. Just the sight of this attracted the attention of the other Nordics. Norway walked over glaring at Denmark.

" You look like a complete idiot get off the floor or I'm going to pretend I don't know who you are."

Denmark continued to laugh but got up like he was told to. Finland stared at him curious to why he was laughing.

" So Denmark why are you laughing did someone say a joke."

Denmark shook his head, his laughing died down before he finally answered Finland.

" Yeah Spain here said a hella funny joke. He said that England tops America. Isn't that hilarious."

Finland, Norway, and Iceland remained quiet. The three didn't get what was so funny about that. Sweden was quiet to but when wasn't he. Iceland was the first to speak up out of the three.

" How is that funny. Who says he couldn't be top."

Once again France, Hungary, and Denmark began to laugh. They finally stopped when they noticed the three Nordic nations glaring at them. Denmark laughed and wrapped his arm around Norway's shoulder.

" Come on Norge stop the glaring its funny."

Norway elbowed Denmark in the stomach causing said nation to remove his hand and fall to his knees in pain.

" Its not funny at all. I think that England capable of as you say it 'topping' that annoying idiot America."

Finland and Iceland nodded in agreement. Denmark and Hungary were about to argue with Norway's claim but stopped when France spoke up.

"Ohonhon how about a bet to settle this."

Everyone turned to France who was leaning back in his chair, playing with his curly hair.

" What kind of bet?"

Hungary was the one to ask. Everyone else wanted to know though to.

" Well since some of us think Angleterre tops and some think Amerique tops then why don't we have a bet to see whose right. Fifty dollars from each person and it goes to the winning group. To actually find out who wins we will follow Amerique and Angleterre out of the meeting room."

Everyone was quiet contemplating Frances idea. Finally they all finished thinking it over and nodded.

" Ok France so now that we agreed with your plan what do we do next."

France smiled at Hungary.

" Well now we choose sides. I myself am in the side in which Angleterre is bottom. Everyone who agrees with me come stand next to me."

Once France was finished Hungary, Denmark, and Sweden went to stand next to him. Finland gasped when he saw Sweden go to Frances side.

" Traitor."

Finland pouted and turned away from Sweden. Norway looked around to see who was on his side. Him, Finland, Iceland, Spain, and ... Romano? were on this side. He stared at Romano wondering when he appeared. Norway wasn't the only one who was staring at Romano so was everyone else.

" Um when did you get here?"

Romano glared at Norway before speaking.

" I've been here the whole time listening to you bastards conversation. You bastards just didn't notice me."

Norway sighed and looked over at France. He had pulled out a box and was currently placing a fifty dollar bill into it. Sweden and Denmark did the same. Hungary pulled out a one hundred dollar bill and placed it in. The other nations looked at her curious and confused. She smiled and pulled out her phone.

" I texted Japan telling him about the bet and he told me to put in Fifty for him."

The nations Laughed and turned to the others who had just finished placing their money in. Romano was the last to put in his fifty. France smiled at the Italian and leaned forward close to him.

" So Romano tell me why do you think that Angleterre could top Amerique."

Romano huffed and crossed his arms. He leaned against the table glaring at Spain who wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Romano's glared shifted to Frances when he finally decided to answer the bastard.

" Because that fat bastard would bend over for a fucking hamburger of you told him to. Hes an idiot like that and anyway I've seen England in his pirate days. There is no way that stupid fat ass could top that crazy English bastard."

Spain and France had both completely forgotten about their pirate days and how England ruled the 7 seas. Just thinking about the past England gave Spain and France the chills. Still though that reason was not a good enough one for France to change his mind. He still was convinced that England was bottom.

" Well I see your point but still you are wrong Mon Cher."

Romano glared at France using all his strength not to strangle him. He was also being partly held back by Spain. Romano was beginning to calm down but that ended when an annoying voice sounded.

" Keskeskes what are we all talking about and why isn't the awesome me involved in it."

Everyone turned to see that Prussia's had walked up.

" Ohonhon we were just talking about Amerique and Angleterres intimate relationship."

Prussia stared at France blankly. Spain noticed this and sighed.

" We are talking about who tops in the twos relationship. Were actually having a bet on it."

Prussia smiled and jumped at the chance to earn some easy cash.

" Ok im in how much are we betting."

" Fifty dollars."

Prussia did his signature laugh and pulled out a fifty. He handed it to France who put it into the bet box.

" So Prussia I already know you are on my side in this bet."

Prussia looked over at France.

" What side are you on."

" Obviously the side in which Angleterre is below Amerique."

" Oh then I'm not on your side."

Hungary, Spain, and France all gasped at what Prussia had said. They weren't expecting that at all.

"What? you guys look so unawesome. Is it really that surprising that I think England totally fucks that shit out of America."

Spain smiled glad to see that his friend was on his side. France in the other hand looked shocked still.

" What I thought you of all people would think England would be the one getting ' fucked' by America. Why do you think that England tops."

It was France who spoke up but instead Hungary. She was looking at Prussia shocked and was upset with his choice. Prussia rolled his eyes at the nations stupid statement and question.

" Why the hell would you think something so stupid like that. For one America is an annoying bitch who whines to much to be the top. Another think is I've seen England in his pirate days and damn if he wanted something he got it and he got it his way. Anyway I just cant see anyone topping a pirate. It would be like someone topping Russia or the awesome me it just doesn't happen. One more thing I highly doubt that before America and England got together that America wasn't a virgin. The only thing that kept America company was his hand."

Spain rather enjoyed Prussia's very long and very detailed explanation. He was also glad that someone else had brought up the whole pirate England thing. Even Romano was enjoying the Prussians statement. Though the Italian would never admit it. Romano looked over at France and smiled harshly waiting for the man to try and say something to go against it. However France stayed quiet. He finally spoke up as he sat up in his chair.

" Well then if everyone is good with their side they picked all that is left it to prove whose right. I think we should begin our stalking now before we lose the two nations."

France pointed to America and England who had finished their argument and were now leaving the meeting room. the nations what were apart of the bet quickly followed after them.

As America and England got further away from the meeting room things began to heat up. America grabbed England and pushed him against the wall. Before England could react his lips were claimed by Americas. It was a rough lust filled kiss that seemed very dominating. France was smiling thinking that he had won. Well France was wrong. England could see out of the corner of his eye that him and America were being watched. He noticed that from their angle it must have looked like America was the dominating one. This annoyed England. For Americas self esteem England allowed America to look like the boyfriend of the relationship. However after the meetings America became England's bitch.

England smirked and did something that stunned half of his audience. He turned the tables on America. He flipped their position so he had America pressed up against the wall. America gasped by the change in position while England took this as an open opportunity. He kissed America letting his tongue explore all of the younger nations mouth. America moaned causing Frances jaw to drop and Hungary's nose to bleed. England moved his knee up, rubbing it against Americas bulge in his pants. This caused the other nation to moan and pant a little. The moaning grew louder as England continued his motion. America held onto England's shoulders keeping himself up. As England continued his teasing America whined out in an unheroic voice.

" En-England stop the teasing and fuck me already."

England smirked and listened to the nation request. He stopped the kneeing motion and laughed.

" Someones eager. well I guess since im such a gentleman Ill do as you want but lets take this inside the room. I wouldn't want someone to end up seeing us."

America nodded and England opened the door leading into an unused meeting room. Before England fully entered the room to please his lover, he turned and winked at the hidden group of nations.

After England went into the room the other nations returned to their meeting room. Prussia and Spain were laughing and highfiving. Sweden was trying to apologies to his "wife". Norway was busy trying to remove a begging and pleading Denmark from his leg. Romano was enjoying the fact that he had won and that the stupid wine bastard had lost. France was on the verge of tears. He was in denial about England topping.

The England topping side claimed their money from the box and split iit among themselves. France was currently slamming his head into the table. Prussia smirked and walked over to France.

" You know for the country of love you don't really know much about it do you."

France looked up and glared at the nation. He was going to speak but before he could the sound of the meeting room door being opened interrupted him. Everyone turned to see England walk in. He leaned against the doorway and smiled at the nations.

" Just letting you all know no one can top me. I'm the bloody united kingdom and a former pirate."

With that said England left. Prussia and Spain smiled and turned to France.

" So France... what are you top or bottom?"

France's eyes widened and he got up running from the room.

" Ohonhon that my friends is a story for another day."

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well that turned out to be one of the most random stories Ive written. my sister loved it and couldn't stop laughing after she finished.

Hope you all enjoyed reading it~

reviews are liked and welcomed.


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